Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Not a good beginning

(Warning: venting ahead)

Yesterday wasn't the best beginning to the new year. But the story starts back before Christmas, so I'll start at the beginning.

As of 10 days or so ago, El Burrito had a puppy (Lexie), and my brother had 3 puppies (Lexie's littermates - Sadie, Sanford, Mr. Friendly) and a female dog, Suzie (mother to said puppies, expecting another litter this spring). Beagle/Basset crosses, farm dogs, occasional hunting dogs (although they needed a refresher course in mole eradication.) The puppies were 7 months old, born the day after El Burrito's first birthday.

Note the use of the word "had" - things have changed, and I'm more than a little peeved about the whole thing.

A few days before Christmas, my parents came home and the puppies were all missing their collars. Now, one dog can lose a collar on occasion. But four dogs losing their collars on the same day? The next day, they come home from somewhere (Dad's retired now) and Sadie and Mr. Friendly have disappeared. Stolen, presumably. Who knows, maybe someone was cruising for a cheap Christmas gift or something.

Yesterday morning, Mom called. They left for a few hours New Years Eve, and Lexie was gone when they came home. Some creep (*), presumably the same lowlife scum who took Sadie and Mr. Friendly, stole El Burrito's puppy.

Now I'm thinking that someone's stealing the puppies to sell them. My idiot cousin's killer-dog-pack seems to be under control, I doubt the bald eagles in the area would grab two puppies in one day (and take the collars off beforehand - no opposable thumbs), and the missing collars definitely make me suspect that humans were involved and the puppies didn't get lost or something. And coming back a week later to grab another one just takes gall, folks. At least, with the separate snatchings, I can assume that it wasn't someone stealing for lab testing - if that was the case, they would have taken all the puppies the first time. And if I'm wrong on that assumption, don't tell me, because it would make me absolutely sick.

Since my parents have been home most of the past two weeks, they've been home more often than not. Which makes me think it's a neighbor doing this, because there's not a lot of traffic on their road, so it's not like someone would chance by and see the puppies and decide to come back tomorrow and snatch a few. Someone's keeping an eye on things, and knew when it was safe to go grab a pup or two, and there's not much we could have done to prevent it. My brother does have a dog pen in the yard, but that would just make things easier for the creep. Even if he padlocked the gate, chain link is easy enough to cut with the right tools. I should suggest keeping the last dogs in the garage when my folks leave, although I can see them making a tornado-sized mess if they were left alone for very long. And making sure to lock everything, in case this rat-fink doesn't stop at stealing puppies.

So, to the lousy, slimy, weaselly, rotten creep who stole our dogs: I hope your teeth fall out. I hope those puppies howl all night, every night - trust me, their brother does, and I wonder if you knew that and left him on purpose. If you kept them, I hope you step in dog poop every time you leave your house, and I hope they chew up everything in sight. I hope, if you sold them to someone, that the check bounces, and that the puppies make such a fuss that the buyers want a refund. I hope they run away and find their way home somehow.

(Yes, I realize that's a futile hope, but it's happened on occasion. When I was in grade school, our dog Sunshine disappeared for two weeks or so. She came home one day, skinnier and with a rope trailing from her collar. Never found out who did it, but I hope their teeth fell out too. Creep.)

I'm contemplating putting an ad in the local weekly paper back home, just on the off-chance that someone knows something. It truly sucked, telling a little boy that his puppy is gone. I'm pretty sure he didn't understand anyway, I don't think he had gotten the concept yet that Lexie was his, and just living at Grandpa's until we found a house. (And yes, I feel guilty about the whole thing, because if we'd moved already, this wouldn't have happened. At least with Lexie - Sadie and Friendly would still be gone.)

* Trust me, "creep" is the mildest word I used. After I got off the phone, the vocabulary went rapidly and rudely downhill, into the territory that my mother doesn't know I use and the Burrito shouldn't be hearing now that he's mimicing words. I haven't been that mad since Mom called about my cousin's dog-pack killing their collie and beagle.

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