Monday, August 13, 2007

Fashion, meteors, and why my family makes me crazy

So, DH had a four-day weekend, and I'm not insane at the end of it. That's good.

And I think I'm safe from the "mom jeans" based on Jan's description. I avoid acid-wash and other odd colors; I much prefer the standard Levi-blue color, but I'm wearing dark stonewash Lees right now because that's all they had in my size last time. (I get most of my jeans at a Lee factory outlet - great prices, but a crapshoot as far as finding your size in a style you like.) I'm not the most fashion-conscious person though. I go with comfort over looks, which is why I own one pair of heels. Tried watching What Not to Wear, but it got annoying after a while.

The Perseids last night were a bust. From here, in the "city" as it is, we have no decent view of the west. I got up at 4:30 a.m. anyway, just to give it a shot, but no luck. Sigh.

***

And, for the "my family makes me crazy" portion of the show. One of my aunts is currently having chemo (breast cancer, second of Mom's sisters to have it). She was living with her second husband, a nice enough guy, but her two daughters convinced (bullied, probably) her into moving out on her own in the middle of all this, because Husband's house "has mold" in it. And so does my shower, but I digress. They've never liked their step-father, even though they were both out on their own before he was in the picture.

Said daughters are also adamant that Aunt can not stay alone, because she needs help with fetching things and because chemo is making her bones brittle or some such (which may be true, I don't know). So, IMHO, making her move out was a bit counterintuitive, to put it mildly. But, instead of stepping up and taking care of this situation themselves, since they're more-or-less responsible for it, they're guilt-tripping my mom and her other sisters into bringing Aunt to her chemo appointments, spending the night at her apartment, etc. etc. Asking is one thing, but guilt-trips are another. Mom got a nasty little email from one of the daughters, basically saying "I need someone to drop everything and spend a night with her, and if you can't help, don't bother calling." Mom's already brought her to half of her chemo treatments (they're not far from here, so it's a chance to see El Burrito), but she's got other things on her plate as well, like taking care of an elderly neighbor this summer, plus both her parents, plus life in general. My parents farm - baling hay and cutting fescue seed can't be put on hold that easily.

It just bugs the life out of me that Mom's sisters (& nieces) are so nonchalant about taking advantage of her, and yes she could say no to them (and does), but there's other family stuff going on there as well. Her mother started it, and it's perpetuating itself, and it's a big mess.

It's also why my sister and I swore to never live within a mile of any family. Sis takes it to extremes, she's lived in a different state since she got out of college. :)

And that's my family rant for the day. I've got more stored up - there are at least five cousins, on both sides of the family, that should be kicked in the pants repeatedly, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

2 comments:

PipneyJane said...

Christi, families can be horrible, particularly if you are related to queen-level manipulators. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

In your mom's situation, my answer would be "I can't do XXX. She has a husband - he should take care of it for her", everytime your cousins try to blackmail her into doing something. No apologies; no prevarocations; no justifying her actions.

Re the husband, have the girls run him off completely or is he cowering in terror? He should be with her - that is what love and marriage are all about, sharing the bad times and taking care of each other.

- Pam

Christi said...

Thanks for the sympathy.

Mom's family is first-class nuts in some branches (there are a few normal ones). It goes back at least to her parents, and possibly farther. Grandma basically picked husbands for most of her daughters (which led to one divorce, and one should-have-divorced). Mom was the rebel who picked her own husband, which is why her parents didn't visit us often, although they live less than 20 miles away.

I think Mom is getting better at sticking to her guns, but it'll probably never be easy. Certain aunts are really fond of stirring up trouble, and Grandma has always played blatant favorites with the kids and grandkids. She doesn't try to hide it, you'd have to be blind to miss it, but she denies that she does it (loudly!) Plus Mom probably feels like she should be there for them if possible (which I agree with, to an extent). But some of my cousins just need a whack with a Clue, you know?

Not sure what's up with Aunt's husband. I haven't been around him that much; he seems like a decent enough guy, but I think he and Aunt separated for a while for some reason. I'm not home enough to keep up with all the family scoop anymore. The girls have never liked him, though, and they don't try to hide it.