Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Time flies

It's already December, and I don't know whether to be a tiny bit freaked that the year has flown by and I've got 3 weeks until I have to write "2008" on the checks, or just bummed about it because I've accomplished almost nothing this year. The amount of stuff that needs to be done by Christmas is no something I want to think about right now. Especially since I've still got this rotten cough hanging on.

Then there's that list of "long term goals" on the kitchen whiteboard. "Long term" meaning by the end of this year, actually. It's an old list. The top two things are buying a house and getting our wills done. The whole house thing gives me a headache, especially when my sister says things like "Give me 3 days, I'll find you a house." Sure you will, but will it be something we want to live in for 10 years? Because unlike her, I don't plan on moving every 3 years or so. It may be unrealistic, but we're looking for a place that will get us through the next 5 years minimum, hopefully longer.

Then there's the whole issue of wills. We got the Nolo Press Simple Will Book, and some recommendations for lawyers. The book says you can write your own will, but we feel more comfortable having a lawyer at least look at it. But, with the forms and information from the book, we can at least get a good start at things, and not have to spend $50 an hour hemming and hawing with the lawyer about things.

The will train lost its momentum when we started thinking about guardians for El Burrito. As strange as it sounds, with DH's large family and my not-small family, we can't come up with anyone that we think would be really suitable as a guardian. We've got a good option for a financial guardian, but no really good choice to raise the boy (if needed, God forbid and knock on wood). It's got me stumped.

The choices:
  • BiL #1 - Not married, but dating a nice woman. However, he's been written out of the in-laws' will thanks to a bit of mess over him being executor of Grandma's will, and his own two kids have some issues. Choosing him would set off another lovely little firestorm in the family.
  • BiL #2 - Wouldn't trust this one to feed my fish, thanks.
  • BiL #3 - Seems good at first. Has 4 kids already, decent house, but is financially strapped because of it (private/religious school tuition x4). This pair has never, that I can think of, held or said more than 4 words to El Burrito. Even #2, who's not a "kid person" other than teasing the nephews, will talk to Burrito and sit him on one knee. They're the most religous of the bunch, and I worry that El Burrito would end up being sort of a second-class citizen, since they've got their 4 kids already. (I've been that route thanks; both sets of grandparents played obvious favorites, and we were at the bottom of the list on both sides.)
  • BiL #4 - The choice for financial guardian, because he's pretty tight with a dollar and fairly sensible (although he's a bit conservative politically for my taste). But he's a bachelor and I don't see that changing any time soon, so him raising El Burrito wouldn't be the first choice. He works an office job and raises cattle on the side, so he's not home a lot.
  • SiL #5 - Would do in a pinch, but I'd rather have a better Plan A. Has 2 kids already, as well as 6 step-kids and a step-grandkid back in New York. However, her husband has a habit of squandering money - trading cars every other year (although this has stopped in the past couple of years), boats, motorcycles, travel trailers, hot tubs, and so on. Also, their kids are little hooligans, because they really don't get enough discipline at home. You can tell a difference at the in-laws' house when the parents aren't there.
  • My sister - married, but not having kids (by choice). Also, likes to travel a lot, and is currently spending 3 weeks every few months in Florida for her degree. I think she'd do it if we asked, but it wouldn't be a good fit.
  • My brother - not married, still living with our parents. Dating a nice girl, though, who intends to have kids from the way she talks. (And also says that my little brother, if that's who she marries, will not get away without changing a few diapers.)
I have an aunt and uncle who I thought might work; they've got a daughter in grade school (*), but now they're planning to adopt an orphan from Russia, so things will be a bit shook up for a while.

* - My mother's family has a weird generational thing going on, because my grandmother and great-grandmother had about 6 kids each and stretched them out over a few years. Grandma and Great-Grandma were having kids at the same time for a while, because Mom has an aunt who's about her age, and they were having kids about the same time too. One of Aunt's kids is younger than me. The aunt above is Mom's youngest sister, who waited a few years to have her daughter, so she's not that much older than El Burrito. It makes figuring out generations a little tricky. It's like they all got mashed together or something.

Anyway, like I said, our choices for legal guardian aren't that great, given the number of choices. And we don't even have any close friends we could ask. DH has two friends who are married with kids, but one pair is also raising three hooligans. Not sure about the other pair. I've got two friends, but one is not a kid person. The other would be great, I think, but she already has two of her own and I only see her once a year, if that often.

* * * *

So. That's all something that needs to be dealt with, although it might have to wait until after the Holiday Crazies. (Did I mention that a local radio station started playing Christmas music 24/7 on Thanksgiving Night? Jeez.) And then there's the whole house thing. And we've procrastinated on the door problem until it's probably too cold to deal with it until spring.

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