Lousy Customer Service

Okay, I've got to rant about this somewhere. I just had one of the lousiest customer service experiences ever.

We've got both a smoke alarm and a smoke/carbon monoxide alarm. The smoke/CO alarm is from First Alert. It's kind of interesting - it doesn't just beep, it talks to you. Including telling you that the battery is low (and where the alarm is located), so you don't have to search the house for an invisible cricket that won't shut up. You get to hear "Warning! Smoke has been detected! Evacuate! Evacuate!" (It sounds a bit like a Dalek.)

We re-installed the combo alarm last month, after the new furnace was installed. We hadn't been using it for a while, but I forget what beyond-annoying thing it was doing. I made a special trip to the store last month for fresh batteries, since we weren't sure how stale the batteries around the house were. Last night, at some unholy hour, we heard "Battery is low in the hallway." Stupid thing never talks during the day, it's always when we're sound asleep.

All right. Those batteries are less than a month old, and I was a little cranky about the wake-up call, so I went Googling this morning. First Alert had a recall on some of their models for a similar problem, but ours wasn't one of them. They don't believe in email or contact forms, so I called them today in spite of the non-recall. I figured it couldn't hurt, and someone might at least say "Sorry about that." or something.

Yeah, right. I was told, after waiting on hold for 7 minutes, that they recommend only Energizer batteries, and if I was using anything else, they can't predict how long the batteries will last. Otherwise, tough toenails. Not even a "thanks for calling" or anything.

All right. It's not mentioned on the back of the alarm (contrary to what the CSR said) and I can't find the manual right now, but it is mentioned in tiny, camouflaged white-on-white raised type inside the battery compartment. But still. I bought Duracells, not some $1-a-dozen generic crap that's been sitting in a warehouse for a decade. Duracells with a freshness date of March 2015. Duracells that still send the battery-tester arm waaaay over to the upper side of "Good" after only 3 weeks. I'll put some fresh-ish Energizers in the stupid thing, but if this happens again, I'm returning the alarm and finding another company.

Makes me even happier that the smoke alarm is hardwired and we don't have to mess with this kind of insanity so often.